今天的我,很難想象以前以你為中心的我。原來,一段痛徹心肺之後,一切終究還是會過去的。我會找到生活的中心,會開心起來,能夠在享受生活,感受情感。
沒有你我怎麽過?這種態度也許成立,但只要有毅力,這個態度也只是過渡期的現象。人的堅韌,不管處在任何的颱風暴雨,也會咬緊牙關帶著自己,安然地走到新的避風港。
Labels: reflection
是時候找研究對象時,我們的教授要我們找一百位。一開始,我們也沒覺得太困難。心理學自身就有一批等做實驗的學生,研究所說去年又一百多位中國學生。再不然,請學校辦公室幫我們發郵件應該就能推廣宣揚了。
結果,學校突然說了一聲:這是個人作業,請自己宣傳。
研究所數據顯示,只有十六位中國學生。
頓時,我們能觸及的群眾縮小到剩下周遭的朋友。一百個中國學生,我是隊友三人之中最多中國朋友的人,但數一數,好像也沒有那麽多!而且周遭朋友,問了也不一定會對此感興趣,也不一定會參加。我們剩下三天,只招到了二十人。好淒慘。但研究怎樣都一定要完成!所以窮則變!想出了以下的招數:
Labels: colours of life, friends, NTU
It is during this phase, that I started wondering about my true ability and results. Is everything as grand as how I presented it to be? Or were they enlarged by my self-endorsement? What is my exact worth?
On hindsight, I know that there is nothing called exact worth. Everything is put in perspective and believes. For every achievement, there are so many factors behind it, that it would be difficult ascertain the absolute size of your contribution. 也許什麽都是説了算。我就是缺乏那股自我肯定。
Today, someone started nudging me and started chatting with me.
2/1/2010 1:59:29 AM ~ 丸杏 <宅女> glenndefino5556@hotmail.com who are you? 2/1/2010 1:59:41 AM glenndefino5556@hotmail.com ~ 丸杏 <宅女> hey 2/1/2010 1:59:41 AM glenndefino5556@hotmail.com ~ 丸杏 <宅女> hey 2/1/2010 2:00:16 AM ~ 丸杏 <宅女> glenndefino5556@hotmail.com who are you? 2/1/2010 2:00:28 AM glenndefino5556@hotmail.com ~ 丸杏 <宅女> i'm 21/f your a male right? 2/1/2010 2:00:40 AM ~ 丸杏 <宅女> glenndefino5556@hotmail.com no i m f 2/1/2010 2:00:48 AM ~ 丸杏 <宅女> glenndefino5556@hotmail.com where did u get my contact? 2/1/2010 2:00:52 AM glenndefino5556@hotmail.com ~ 丸杏 <宅女> nice, I just got off work and finally got some time to relax which site did i msg you from again? 2/1/2010 2:01:05 AM ~ 丸杏 <宅女> glenndefino5556@hotmail.com i have no idea 2/1/2010 2:01:17 AM glenndefino5556@hotmail.com ~ 丸杏 <宅女> I know a way we can chat and have a better time.. do you cam? 2/1/2010 2:01:26 AM ~ 丸杏 <宅女> glenndefino5556@hotmail.com no i don't 2/1/2010 2:01:37 AM ~ 丸杏 <宅女> glenndefino5556@hotmail.com may i know where did you get my contact? 2/1/2010 2:01:38 AM glenndefino5556@hotmail.com ~ 丸杏 <宅女> Well i don't do yahoo cam or any other cam because i have been recorded before... But i do know one site you can watch me on cam, that assures me no one records... 2/1/2010 2:02:04 AM ~ 丸杏 <宅女> glenndefino5556@hotmail.com and why would i want to see your recording? 2/1/2010 2:02:16 AM glenndefino5556@hotmail.com ~ 丸杏 <宅女> I mean... Do you want to see me on my cam? 2/1/2010 2:02:37 AM ~ 丸杏 <宅女> glenndefino5556@hotmail.com why do you want to go on cam? 2/1/2010 2:02:48 AM glenndefino5556@hotmail.com ~ 丸杏 <宅女> Ok go to http://ow.ly/12isv accept the invite on the page baby 2/1/2010 2:03:18 AM ~ 丸杏 <宅女> glenndefino5556@hotmail.com who are you? 2/1/2010 2:03:30 AM glenndefino5556@hotmail.com ~ 丸杏 <宅女> sweet, fill out the info ur info.. i can not wait for you to see me baby let me find something nice to wear 2/1/2010 2:05:10 AM ~ 丸杏 <宅女> glenndefino5556@hotmail.com excusez-moi 2/1/2010 2:05:22 AM glenndefino5556@hotmail.com ~ 丸杏 <宅女> its the sites policy to ensure no minors get access to the site, so they might ask for CC to verify your age babe. 2/1/2010 2:05:26 AM ~ 丸杏 <宅女> glenndefino5556@hotmail.com why would i want to see you 2/1/2010 2:05:37 AM glenndefino5556@hotmail.com ~ 丸杏 <宅女> What color Panties do you think i should wear? i might have you favorite color here somewhere...
-.-''
And then another person came.
ilysawhittleseyfirst45@hotmail.com dit :
hi
~ 丸杏 <宅女> dit :
you are?
ilysawhittleseyfirst45@hotmail.com dit :
hi how are you today?
~ 丸杏 <宅女> dit :
may I know who are you?
ilysawhittleseyfirst45@hotmail.com dit :
my name is kaylee I'm doing great today I'm 21 yrs old how old are you?
~ 丸杏 <宅女> dit :
23
ilysawhittleseyfirst45@hotmail.com dit :
listen hun, I am just about to start my webcam show with jen, come chat me there in my chat room? We can cyber, I will get naked if u do..lol!
~ 丸杏 <宅女> dit :
where are you from?
ilysawhittleseyfirst45@hotmail.com dit :
I can show u how to watch free if u promise not to tell anyone else how to do it???PLEASE:-$
~ 丸杏 <宅女> dit :
lol
ilysawhittleseyfirst45@hotmail.com dit :
well since its free the law that u gotta be 18 (nudity involved), u have to sign up with a credit card for age verification! BUT .. Once you are inside, just clikc on "Webcams" let me know what name you use to sign in with so I know it is you babe! http://www.localchatroomchicks.com/macly fill out the bottom of the page then fill out the next page as well and u can see me live for free!
~ 丸杏 <宅女> dit :
what's there to see?
ilysawhittleseyfirst45@hotmail.com dit :
Please dont mention anything about that in the chatroom once u get in ok?:-$
~ 丸杏 <宅女> dit :
where's this chatroom started from?
ilysawhittleseyfirst45@hotmail.com dit :
OH SHIT.. k I am late to start my show, I gotta get off msn...I will see ya inside my chatroom babe.. remember not to mention that I am upgrading u for free... You can use your msn name to sign in so i know it is you..
-.-''''''
Think I've probably gotten virused. MSN needs more vigilant cleansing lah!
Labels: colours of life, critics
Diana原來也有部落格。我在部落格上看到了她和女兒終于和爸爸相見的日記。讀到Mia有生以來第一次被爸爸抱的那一幕,我突然好感動。
我從Diana的部落格也聯係到了Theodore的部落格。Theodore是現任的人才管理副主席。非常文質彬彬的好好先生,我非常喜歡他。
突然可以聽到大家的近況,我好開心,好感動。
我想念那段奇妙的時光。
Labels: colours of life, NTU
在這一切心理戰之中,現在的我好累,眼皮快要閉上了。但心底暗暗又在萌生著一股力量。我就是在挑戰自己,就是在超越自己能力範圍啊!很自然的,我現在還沒有所有需要的能力,但我願意去學,願意去擔當一切。我願意把自己放逐到安全之外,流浪在催化我成長的世界。
心底還是有著這股力量。我想,我會很努力地度過這四天的。
Labels: motivation
Labels: moments, motivation
回顧昨天,我出門展開隨興之旅,結果很隨興地去捐了血,再到處隨興攝影。隨興地走、隨興地感受,就連隨興的孤獨,我也樂於接受。哦我第一本流浪日記在臺灣正式寫到最後一頁,今天的我開始了第二版第一章。第二版是取名為《彩光掠影》。一切色彩亮光之中,在我心中產生的是什麽樣的影子?一切聲色消失之後,留下的,又會是什麽?《彩光掠影》會陪我走過各個美麗的人生旅程。
今天,很掙扎地起了床,我努力地告訴自己要面對現實。和T會面、上車、上地鐵,走向辦公室,熟悉的公式重現。
我突然發現全國會議還有八天就要開跑,一切重要的準備工夫都還在進行著。但這並不是我這八天唯一的工作。下屆領導的選舉資料、人才管理的開會,都是這八天内要做好的。我在開會的時候有一點被工作量嚇倒,歇斯底里了好一會。情緒之後,就是立刻地投入,一樣一樣地和別人討論、一封一封郵件地打、一通一通電話地撥,再一條一條事件從我的單子上划掉。當十一個條子都在腰上被殺上一條綫之後,雖然時間已是淩晨四點,微痛的頭腦隱隱地浮現著一絲絲的快感。
奮鬥,就不過是這樣嘛。用生命美好的時光來建造心中那朦朧的理想。雖然朦朧,依然令人嚮往。一步一步地,從空無,揣摩出空間、安上框架、填上實體、沾上色彩。那個一開始自己只有隱隱的感覺,根本無法正確地形容其容貌的東西,就在自己藉著信念一點一點的觸碰中,有了形體,得到了生命。用生命力換來創造,死了也能安詳。
一生,豐富了。
Labels: AIESEC, colours of life, favourites, reflection
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