Finally, after long hours of cramming in the car with my belongings, I reached home. Along the trip, many things entered and left my mind. Many future plans were considered. And I just realised how lost I am, and how many things I yet not know about Malaysia, or my hometown. I want to find a job, but what job am I going to get? to be a little cashier? a waitress? or what? I can't be a teacher, since I have lost touch with Malaysian education system. So that means I can't be a tuition teacher too. How can I be a government officer, albeit a little one, when my Malay standard is only of Form 1 standard? Or worse? I just realised that for the past six years, my home was more like a place for me to rest and relax, since I only go home during holidays. Now, to think that I have to re-decorate my which was long conquered by my brothers, I feel daunted. I don't know why. But I just feel very lost. That's the price I have to pay, after leaving the place for such a long time. Fortunately I haven't lost touch with my friends, at least I can still have my own social circle.
May be that is why I am back for. To get back in touch with the society, to get myself involved in the community. To bridge back the differences. To allow gene flow. Ok. Not funny.