Monday, January 30, 2006

New Year? Yes new year is here. Perhaps I was too excited about it this year, such that when it finally arrived, I couldn't feel anymore excitement about it. It didn't feel much different. Except that I got the chance to change into new outfits everyday and do make-ups.
Day 1 was dedicated to my p6 friends. As usual. My friend picked me up at 1015 when the meeting time was 10am. Then we went to the gathering point, where there's only me and her present. At 1030, there're only four. We began to fear. Maybe this everyone is bored with our annual gathering because it has been the same thing for 8 years. House hopping. I can't even differentiate every year's gathering because the events have been roughly the same. But well, I thought it's a tradition that we would treasure.
Fortunately'A', things turned out much better at 11. There were 20 plus people. Not bad. Almost half the class are still keen about it. Not being punctual is a habit of Chinese. I shall learn to understand. Cuz I am one of them too.
So we hopped and hopped till 8pm, tasting pineapple cookies at every house I visited and finally decided that I like the ones I made the best. Then we parted to bathe before gathering at my friend's house for gambling session. I didn't gamble of course. I merely taught my friend how to play mahjong and read the silly letters I wrote to my friend for the past 6 years. And through these I refreshed my memory of how I viewed Singapore when I first arrived.
At 3am, my friend who won 60+ decided to treat us bah kut teh. 2 person's meat, 3 bowls of rice and 4 glasses of drinks actually cost him 27+! No wonder these people don't mind opening shops during new year cuz they can charge double. But well, why sacrifice celebration for money?
At 4am, I sank in my tweety bed in exhaustion. House hopping shall continue later.
0 rustlings

Sunday, January 29, 2006

Before Chinese New Year


2 months before cny,
1. Spring cleaning begins
2. House renovation for many
3. Mild diet
4. Purchase of new year clothes


1 month before cny,
1. Making of new year cookies
2. Purchase of new furnitures
3. Painting of houses
4. Intense spring cleaning
5. Abrupt change of living style to a proper one so as to prevent any more breakouts.
6. Saloon extends working hours to 10.30pm due to overwhelming number of customers requesting for hair cut, dyeing of hair, hair rebonding, hair curling...
7. Shopping centres start hiring more part-timers like me to handle to crowd.
8. Shopping centres and banks start giving out angpaus as free gifts.

9.Shopping centres start playing new year song tracks.


1 week before cny,
1. Purchase of new year goods eg. mandarin oranges, drinks, more cookies, decorations, offerings.
2. Most homes are done up.
3. Purchase of fire crackers.
4. Children start playing fire crackers.


1 day before cny,
1. Prayers begin.
2. People start driving around to look at deco of other homes.


1 night before cny,
1. Price of new year goodies decrease to their lowest.

2. Police start roaming around to collect new year bonus.
3. Sounds of fire crackers heard everywhere.


At 12am,
1.. Continuous free show of fireworks for at least 2 hours.
2.. Parents start getting broke.


And so the red hot cny begins.

0 rustlings

Friday, January 27, 2006

Got literally disconnected from computer for the past one week due to a number of reasons: My brothers taking turns to hog on the computer, my working hours getting later, and more new year chores to complete.
Well, I finally told my supervisor my intention to quit. It was really a tough thing to do. I reached there half an hour early to inform her about it. But it was only an hour after my work starts that I managed to squeeze out the phrase 'I want to quit' from my mouth. And I felt so bad after that. She tried to hold me back by suggesting a pay increase. Though a minimal one. But sorry. I gotta leave. Life is really boring there, with nothing much to learn, no many customers to serve. And I have serious communication problem with my malay partner. (I must admit that my malay standard has deteriorated tremendously) Language is really the essential tool for communication. Sometimes she can get frustrated because I can't convey what I wish to say properly. And I will get frustrated as well. The only attraction for me to work is the friends I made there. Most of the promoters there are around my age. Waiting for results. Nowadays we not only have chatting sessions but also eating session. People bring new year cookies their mums made for us to try. Today will be my last day of work, before I set off for Chinese New Year. A little sad, but much relieve. I am sick of the complication in work.
Participated in preparation for new year for the first time in six years. I never knew that cny preparation can be such a heavy and complicated task. First there is spring cleaning. Then comes cookies baking session. After that is shopping for new year clothes and new year needies. We had to travel everywhere to look for the the stuff we need at the cheapest price. And there are so many things to buy! Offerings, LOTSA food, drinks, mandarin oranges, cookies, deco pieces.... And after all these still have to deco the house up. I must admit that it can get really stressful at times. Was still hanging clothes at 1am last night after my work! But well, at last I got to join in the prep work. Really excited over new year!
What holds me for future? I don't know which uni to apply to, which scholarship I should try, and even what job I should take up next. I don't know where should I stay when I return to collect my results, what result will I get, what I should do with whatever results I get. I don't even have a prediction for my results!
Really scared to face the future, for it is too intimidating. I understand that it is just a transition period, and when I look back after five years, everything would seem so easy. But for now, it's just too intimidating.
1 rustlings

Saturday, January 14, 2006

I tried spreading the habit of spamming tagboards to my other friends. And the first target was Ming Hui, cuz he's one with an active tag. Well, let me confess. I am the bittergourd. Of course this is not the only name I used. Hiakhiakhiak. His friends responded well. I guess his blog tag will never be the same from now on. Hiakhiakhiak. Actually I seriously think that there is no need for confession, as I guess our class people are the only ones whose tagboards are constantly being spammed.
Out of depression and boredom, I decided to visit the blogs of friends whom I am never close to. To peek into their life. To know them beyond their looks. Blogs are good. They allow you to know more about others without being scandalous, as you are the only one who know about your curiosity. Well, that's as long as you don't tell others.

Next, comes my own theory of love.
  1. When you have to utilise reasons to convince yourself that you like a person, most of the time, you have not liked him/her strong enough to let you feel it instinctively. Love should be realised naturally, or even irrationally, not as a conclusion.
  2. When you believe that events happening around you are signs that you two are not matched, chances are you are actually doubting your love or him/her love. If love is strong enough, any event will be regarded as a test or challenge, not an indication of weak love.
  3. If you confess to the person just before you two part and you know that the paths of you two will never cross again, chances are, you like the person. But you don't like the him enough to want to be together with him/her.
0 rustlings

Tried once.
Tried twice.
Thrice.
twenty times.
And today, I think I should have hit thirty.
Stupid ucas simply ignores my call for help.
0 rustlings

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Some kids are essentially notorious and a cause for headache and heart attack. I have seen enough of them in Fajar. They:
  1. wailed so loudly in order to embarrass their mothers so that these poor mothers will comply with their wants.
  2. They harrassed the clothes sold in my department even though they can never fit into them. May be that's why they messed them up.
  3. They threw pants onto the floor and kicked them happily.
  4. They dashed towards me and pushed me before dashing away again. Laughing away. Idiots.
  5. They kept bugging you, asking you all kinds of stupid questions even though their dads are talking to me.

And interestingly, some of their parents are not ashamed of their kids' rudeness at all. They may just say gently to the kids to stop what they are doing, without bothering if their kids follow. Hopeless. Parents should not let their kids develop in anyway their kids wish, or else they will just transform into little but destructive monsters.

0 rustlings

I live in such an ulu place. We don't have what even rural areas have. What we have here are already unseen in other places.
We live in trees. Trees in the primary forest are so tall that we have to reach our home using lift.
We have no electricity supply. We can only generate electricity ourselves using solar energy.
We have no water supply. We have to distill seawater to obtain drinking water.
There is no currency here. Our wallets are empty. Only credit cards can be used.
We have no agriculture. The land here is so infertile that we have to resort to aeroponics and hydroponics.
We have no computers. We have so little land that we can only accommodate laptops and palmtops.
We have no schools. The architecture here is so elemental that we have to receieve education via distance learning programmes.
We have no cars, buses, vans, motorcycles and even bicycles. There are no road systems. We can only travel by planes and helicopters.
There is no postal service. Jobs are horrendously scarce. Any information can only be transmitted via the internet.
We watch no movies in cinemas. People here are too unsociable. They watch at personal movie screen.
......
Sigh. I am saddened by the speed of the development. How I wish I can effect some changes in this village so that people here can have a better life.
God help me...
0 rustlings

Monday, January 09, 2006

Oh Love! Thy Name is Mystery

Too many people have tried to come up with too many interpretations of various aspects of love. Some MAY BE true, some are simply shallow and crappy. Oh love, why are so many people interested in you? You are just an attention-seeking creature.

Nonetheless, I shall just put foward some of the theories of love which I find interesting and true.

1. 'Love is a combo meal.' You have to accept the person's strength as well as well as his weaknesses. Isn't this what the other party is doing to you as well?
Well, the greatest flaw in women is greed.
I ain't perfect, but that doesn't mean I can't aspire for perfection.
He accepts me, but that doesn't mean I have to accept him in return.
You asked me,' When will you need a life partner?' I don't know. But I will know once he is here.
2. We will never forget the moments when we were in love and the reasons why we broke up. It is just that we will never mention it. Whoever who mentioned the past when we meet up again, he or she is he one who cares more about the loss. Why should I show that I care?
Some relationship ends without love or hatred. It was only a process. A page to be flipped over.
Some relationship never grew. That's why people long for it even more.
We will never forget every moment of love and being love. No matter what happened in the end, they have still once brightened up our life.
3. Can relationship be as easy going as this? You only need to accept what's good about your partner, but never his imperfections.
You admire his talents, but you need not appreciate the way he cuts his toe nails and dig his nose.
You love to chat with him, but don't need to put up with his habits of taking food with bare hands.
You wish to spend the rest of your life with him, but you need not breathe in his body odour.
Love is elegant. But in life itself exists too many inelegant elements.
Two persons can overcome all barriers and obstacles to be together. But once they are together, they begin to realise all the tiny differences and habits that set them apart. Tiny, but never negligible.
Love is normally not defeated by grave mistake, but diluted by the micro elements of life.

adapted from 张小娴's “永无止尽的怀抱”

0 rustlings

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Admit this. There are some wounds that will just never heal. It can be gently dusted by other things in life, but will resurface even with the lightest touch. To remind you of the conflicts that can never resolved, accuse that can never be explained, misunderstandings that can never be understood. Even between the closest of friends. Or those you deemed as close friends. You can never forgive. You may forget, but the memory will not be lost forever. The scar will burst open suddenly, in the middle of the night, slicing every cell of your body, flooding you with depression, left you in doubt with the genuineness of friendship, no matter how strong it seems to have forged.
These wounds will just be left opened.
Un-healed.
0 rustlings

Friday, January 06, 2006

So I stepped into Fajar on its first opening day. Not to join the crowd but to assist the crowd. Yes I am a sales promoter. At the Gent's department. I have just embarked on the jouney of folding and unfolding garments, stacking them up and pulling them down. Smiling to everyone I know and don't know. I write nothing but numbers and my signature. Feel nothing but cold and soreness of feet. Yes I have to wear courtshoes from 1pm to 10pm. Wear nothing (oops!) but black pants and white shirt. And thank you very much my stock of white shirts is only limited to event tee-s, which aren't a lot, thanks to the popularity of black, which I love. But at least I have found something productive to do. It's quite a convenient way to meet friends and see rare sights. I have bumped into primary school teachers, primary and secondary school friends. I have seen men stripping and trying shirts right outside the fitting room, as they are simply too lazy to wait. I also realise that gent's clothes sell better than ladies' as women may buy clothes for men but men can seldom buy clothes for their other half or daughter cuz women are picky creatures by nature. And many men will buy clothes without even trying men. A phenomenon that rarely occurs to females. So I am spared from more folding of garments. That should be a good thing. But it also implies that i have nothing to do. That's why I decided to write my blog entry during my working hours. With left hand. To kill time. I wrote this initially on a scrap piece of paper then brought it back and transfer to comp. I shall find more creative ways to kill time since I still have yet a long way to go. Umm. signing off now.
0 rustlings

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Fallen out of
love.
0 rustlings

Live
~ wan xin
* a feel
* a soul
* a mind
* an emotion
* an inspiration

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我的語言
- 土生土長的華人
- 學校教了我英文和馬來文
- 環境教了我福建話
- 電視劇教了我廣東話
- 大學和喀麥隆教了我法語
- 在一個早上接觸了手語
- 最後一學期一口氣學了日語和西班牙語

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