Friday, May 26, 2006

Perhaps we should stop having pre-conceived notion about everything. It only blocks us from truly experiencing the happening. Perhaps we should face everything as if we are inexperienced babies who are seeing the world for the first time. To see everything in a new light. To allow ourselves to experience every event in a different way.
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突然很想生一场大病,让疲惫的自己彻底垮掉,再重生。
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冻结


也不知道睡了多久,她突然睁开了睁不开的眼睛。看了看手机屏幕上显示的时间,她知道自己又准时不了了。闹钟应该是在昏睡中被按掉的。她挣扎地爬了起来,混乱地刷了牙却细细地洗了自己的脸,在抓起自己临睡前整理好的包包后就冲下楼去。
赶不及了。在路边,她叫了一辆德士。
不应该这么迟睡的。
德士很快地就加入了瘫痪的车子阵容。司机很友善地想和她聊天,她却一直不由自己地进入昏睡中。
不应该这么迟睡的。
交通懒懒的,车子每几分钟才移动几公分,然后又陷入沉静。在这样的冲刺和刹车中,她的头又隐隐作痛了。她一向和德士八字相冲,一搭德士就会晕车。可是,她却毫无选择地被逼飞蛾扑火,因为她不能迟到太多。
原本一块半的巴士车资狂飙成十二块,亏她还有那个仪态在临走前向司机道谢,然后再匆匆地赶向地铁站。刷了朋友送她的月票,她一赶到月台就目送地铁赶着开走了。
终于上了月台,她又昏睡过去了。
实在不应该这么迟睡的。
爱杀17有什么迷人的,值得她把睡眠时间缩短成两小时。本来只有一小时的,是她多睡了一小时。精神仍然颓废,自己却迟到了。荷包又在淌血了。
再快到站时,她醒了过来,迷糊地走到邻近的另一家地铁公司又搭上了地铁。又昏睡了过去。这次她大可放心的睡,因为她要一直坐到终站。
到了终站她又专搭巴士。匆匆地到了公司道了歉后会议就排山倒海地开始。太多事项要讨论,太多波折要抚平。她和伙伴就这样在冷气开得太冷又看不到阳光与大自然的会议室里过了一天。
离开时星光与月光已洒了她一身。其实这只是她自己的幻想。都市是没有星月的。淋了她一身的,是从街灯和商店里逃出来的冷光。
今天她实在无法在熬夜了。冲凉后,她甚至没有精力等头发被空气晾干。用吹风筒略略吹干了头发,又回了一封无法拖延的邮件,在MSN和朋友寒暄了几句,她就垮在床上了。
还好,明天是休息天,她可以昏天暗地地睡一回。

融化


吃了她爱吃的鱼丸面后,她顶着两点的阳光走到巴士站。有辆巴士在等着她。
她上了巴士才发现自己和其他乘客都一样,需要等待司机的大驾光临。
冷气好像坏掉了。她的皮肤感受不到空气的流动。两点的艳阳精力充沛,兴致勃勃地渗过巴士的玻璃往里面攻进。她从包包里拿出《台北人》来自娱。很快地进入了白先勇营造的今非昔比的惆怅气氛里。
司机来了,开了车,巴士在崎岖不平的路上蹦跳着,里面的乘客亦复如是,晃动得东歪西倒。很快地巴士也陷入了停止的车龙里。
到了站,她离转站的车站还有一段距离,只好拎着大包小包拖着脚步往前走。体内的精力在随着汗水一滴一滴地流失。她继续往目的移动。
到了车站,她终于到了车站。买了一罐冷冷的红枣龙眼来慰劳自己,开了封口,她发狠地,迫不及待地灌着。人造的味道没有在她脑海里停留太久,甜甜的饮料很快地就流过她的喉咙,不留痕迹。她开心了一些,静静地等巴士。
巴士来了,她这几天的噩梦也终于结束了。她已经忘了她是谁,在做什么。

苏醒


下了巴士,她走到对面的糖果屋买了自己最爱吃的湿葡萄干。
在走回家的路上,太阳已经下山了。暖暖的余温很让人舒爽。微风习习地吹着,把她的头发都吹到耳后。她感受着风的轻吹,感受体内的细胞的苏醒,感受干涸的心田又再次得到了滋润。
简单的市镇的街道上并没有太多车辆。但过大马路时也费了她不少时间。她静静地走在自己熟悉不过的街道上,她沉浸在微风中,完全不用有意识地想着要如何走。
路边的野草随着晚风轻轻舞动,欢迎她回到属于自己的天地。
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Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Apparently I am tagged again. By jieying and ereneh. So I shall do it. Since it seems quite fun too!
Instructions: Name 20 people you can think of at the top of your head. dont read the questions before you write, and tag 5 pple to do this survey.
  1. Hoohoo
  2. Yunz
  3. Pow
  4. Ereneh
  5. JY
  6. Yiwen
  7. Choon Siang
  8. Set
  9. Yin How
  10. Ming Hui
  11. Teik Zhen
  12. Xin Yu
  13. Liting
  14. Chui Fen
  15. Sherene
  16. Da jie
  17. Xavier
  18. Low low
  19. Mollie
  20. Meisheng

how did u meet 14? (Chui Fen) Hostel friend. School mate. Class mate. in 2002.

what wld u do if u never met 1? (Hoohoo) I would never get my first shock in hc that 73 is a triple science class. Ok la. Seriously, without her, I would have felt very helpless. When I couldn't catch up with hw, when I was sick, when I wanted to watch Weijian

what wld u do if 20 n 9 dated? (Meisheng and Yin How) I swear I didn't do this on purpose. I really really swear. But well, if they dated, one of them would be the happiest person on earth. And I would congratulate them with a sincere heart!

did u ever like 19? (Mollie) Yes. As a friend. I think he has cool personalities.

wld 6 n 17 make a gd couple? (Yi Wen and Xavier) Haha. Would be a cute couple. Yiwen will always bully Xavier and Xavier will take verbal revenge!

describe 3. (pow) A very supportive and helpful friend. A girl with strong opinions of her own. A tiny girl who always have problems with her clothing. WInks.

do u tnk 8 is attractive? (Set) He has very clear vision about his future and concrete steps he should take to achieve his goals.

wahahatell me smth abt 7. (Choon Siang) He plays piano and he's very chi1qing2.

do u know any of 12's family? (Xin Yu)Nope. But I have seen her brother in Huang Cheng before. May be her future spouse. If he's someone I know.

what is 8's favourite? (Set) 7 Habits of Effective People. Sleep?

what wld u do if 11 confesses tt he/she likes u? (Teik Zhen) Wahaha. Cannot be. He hated me to the core neh. And he has a soulmate liao.

what language does 15 speak? (sherene) English. Wonder if she still remember her Chinese Malay and Hokkien.

who is 9 going out with? (Yin How) Set. And the powerful attractive ACP team.

how old is 16 now? (Dajie) 23.

when was the last time u talked to 13? (liting) last week online.

who's 2's favourite band/singer? (Yunz) Me!

wld u date 4? (Ereneh) Of course. We have gone out a few times together liao.

wld u date 7? (Choon Siang) No. I don't adore younger boys. Sorry CS!

is 15 single? (Sherene) NO.

what's 10's last name? (Ming Hui ) My middle name.

wld u ever be in a serious relationship with 11? (Teik Zhen) Why does the same kind of question repeat itself for the same person? NO lah.

what sch does 3 go to? (pow) Bukit Panjang Government Primary School for now. She got retained. Nolah! She's doing relief teaching there.

where does 6 live? (Yiwen) In CJ's heart.

what's ur favourite thing abt 5? (JY) she's very warm and friendly! Very straight too!

Next 5: Hoohoo, Yunz (to re-activate your dormant blogs), Ming Hui, Teik Zhen, Xin Yu

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Monday, May 22, 2006

Let it waltz its way to death.
Gently,
Slowly,
Beautifully.

Left unnoticed.
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Sunday, May 14, 2006

Real Brainstorming Session


Thanks to all the scholarship essays and university personal statement, I have reflected a thousand times upon my past, my past life and dreamt a thousand times about my future.
Then I regretted. I should have always kept a diary to note down all the interesting things that I have encountered. Not just the domestic things but also major events. So that I will not be so at a lost when I have to write essay with topics like 'An event that you encountered personally that is especially meaningful to you' (NTU ASEAN), 'Describe a person who has influenced you' (NTU ASEAN), 'Describe two challenges you have faced in your life' (SIA Cargo) blah blah blah. Seriously, I can't find anything that's really significant to write about. That's why I am always spending hours just to come up with a short piece of unsophisticated work.
So, honest advice from a true friend: Keep a record of impactful events/people. It will come in handy one day when you have to live at the mercy of sophisticated people.
But well, the never-ending essays really brought me back into my memories. The good ol' primary school days, CJCH craze, SC days, friends whom I have forgotten, acquaintances who have shared noble truth with me, strangers that have widened my viewspan, tiny things that seemed extremely significant then... Sherene asked me for CJCH msn group address. I checked for her, then shun bian take a peek into the long abandoned website. The photos posted there brought back the faded faces with forgotten names to my eyes. The forgotten times.
How we irritated Brother Paul by insulting him right there in the group message boards (I like the TWO-LEGGED FREAK, PAUZILLA loads!)(We were discovered 3 days after that, and were severely dealth with),
how we cramped in Sister Maria's room for aircon and entertainment during the SARS quarantine period,
how we prepared for hostel games, exuberance, dance (which now should have been scraped by the conservative Brother Paul. URGH!),
the staircase talks,
how we sneaked into the tv room in the midnight,
how Aunty April always appeared suddenly outside your room to scold you for doing any unlawful things (In her eyes, storing food in your room is illegal. Burning midnight oil is illegal too),
how I used to tie my hair into two plaits and felt proud of it,
how we cheered in the tv room for World Cup 2002,
the hostel meetings where everyone would gather and get humiliated with terms like 'uncivilised', 'fools',
how we helped each other to sign in and out at the attendance list,
how we ran for buses in the morning,
how we preserved the 50 mangoes we got from the mango tree in front of the hostel (Most of them were rotten in the end),
how we celebrated birthdays with the cruelest sabotage,
......
I can't remember more.
And the list will only get shorter each year as I forget more and more.
But I know.
I have once cherished those times I had in the hostel.
That's enough.

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Saturday, May 13, 2006

Any free radicals around?


We are pleased to inform you that you have been selected to attend an interview for the ASEAN Undergraduate Scholarship tenable at the Nanyang Technological University.
The details of the interview are as follows:


Date:18 May 2006

Time: 1040 hrs (Please arrive half an hour earlier)

Venue:
Room 1
Office of Admissions
Nanyang Technological University
Student Services Centre
Level 2
42 Nanyang Avenue


Yeah. So I will be in Singapore for a few days. Any takers to help waste my time?
0 rustlings

Friday, May 12, 2006

Application status enquiry
Name LOW WAN XIN
Application number 16065736

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Application status
The general stages for the application status areApplication received --> Application processing --> Outcome of application
You have been offered Arts & Soc Sci in academic year 2006 - 2007.

The details of the offer will be stated in the offer letter.
Your letter of offer was sent on 04-May-2006.
Please reply at the Joint Acceptance website by 05-Jun-2006.

忘记梦想,
是需要经过一番痛苦的挣扎。
重新拾回被遗弃的梦想,
又何尝不需要再次痛彻心扉呢?

This must be a joke. To make my dream come true after I have finally given them up.

How can you be so cruel?

I have tried so hard. Tried really really hard. To persuade myself that psychology is NOT the way out for me. To source out for another course that I probably have interest in. To divert my energy and passion to that course.

Now you shove me the hard truth again.

Must you make me feel like a fool who has invested her energy at the WRONG place over and over again?
Must you be so cruel?
Must you?!
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Wednesday, May 10, 2006

My Advice for Sunway Goers

  1. Don't bother to go sunway.
  2. If you insist on going, don't bother to go on an off-peak day.
  3. If you insist on going on an off-peak day, don't bother to rent a tube/float.
  4. If you insist on renting, don't bother to rent it before you try out all the slides that don't require your tube.
  5. If you insist on renting it before you play, make sure you guard your tube with your fullest attention.

Because this's what's happened to me and Janice.

We went on a Wednesday. All excited and perked up and made ourselves appeared like tourists with our gaudy beach shorts. I think if religious police were around we would have been captured, haha.

We were tourist enough to not know where to stop for Sunway, to take picture of the very steep overhead bridge, then hopping around in our usual selves.

We weren't sure of the way to Sunway lagoon theme park. So we just grabbed the first man we saw to ask for direction. Coincidentally he was some facilities and technical managers of Sunway. So he led us all the way there.

We reached when it was slightly drizzling. Which I thought was perfect. So that we wouldn't be too burnt.

The queue was short. Which I thought was perfect.

Then the troubles started coming. The first man took half an hour to get his purchase done. So by the time we got into Sunway even though we were the first few, it was already 11.30. Sunway opens at 11.

Then we ran our way to the first ride. Only to realise that we were the only two who's gonna play the thing during that round! Cuz there were no other people there! Even though the ride was quite thrilling, we didn't feel like screaming, cuz there wasn't the atmosphere for screams. So we got quite sian diao.

And it was like that for the rest of the rides! 2 out of 10 rows of pirates ship were occupied, 4 out of 10 rows of roller coaster occupied, we kept seeing the same faces everywhere... it's really very off-peak!

Feeling sian diao, we went over to the wet park. We rented the tubes once we entered. Then we realised that we don't need our tubes to play the slides. So we put them at the side before queueing up for the slides.

When we were back, we realised that our tubes were stolen!

Then we went round looking for tubes. And every tube we thought was ours weren't. And we were being viewed by the tube owners as theives! Argh!

In the end we went back to the tube rental place to tell the staff our situation. Luckily he allowed us to take again. This time we chose those tubes with special prints, for easy identification.

Then we went on to play, and not long after, I realised that Janice's necklace is broken! And her cross pendant is gone. We tried to search for it, to no avail.

Feeling more sian diao, we went off to bathe and leave.

Then was dinner at Secret Recipe at Sunway Pyramid. Janice tried to ask for pepper for her mushroom soup, and the waitress actually passed her salt! What quality service.

Then we wanted to buy bags. When we ask the salesgirl why the button was a bit dirty, she just banged the bag on the counter and said,'it's like that one, lar!' Another quality service.

By the time we wanted to take a bus, the bus took like one hour to come. We resort to kill time by commenting how the others're dressing, and how they could be better, and making unfunny jokes among ourselves.

By the time the bus came, we were so exhausted and disappointed that we sank into dreams almost immediately.

What a sian diao trip.

1 rustlings

Friday, May 05, 2006

Finally I got to go 1 Utama. The place famous for its unique architecture. Well the building is huge when view from outside but you can't feel its grandeur when you are walking within. This is because the building is in the shape of the letter L. So the other wing is always invisible when you are walking on one of the wings. That's why the building seems very small from within.

But it has nice stuff though! There's this sink stopper which has a green hand attached to its top. So it looks like some tiny forest elf is drowning whenever you fill the sink with water! Cool. And there's an ultra cool tape dispenser. The tape comes out from the person's mouth and gets cut off at its legs! So fancied by it but it costs a good 60 ringgit for one tape dispenser! And 17 for the sink stopper!

Expensive stuff is healthy for your wallet when they're not yours.

Me and B E bought drinks from Orange Julius. I bought large blizzard. It's promised to be served upside down or it's free! The waiter proved that line true when my drink was served. It's banana split flavour with strawberry bits in it! Super nice.

5 minutes later, I decided to test if the magic still works. So I turned it over. And...

SPLAT! The entire thing's on the floor like some hideous vomit.

So that's it for my drink. When I have not even finished 10% of it. I must must try it again next time!

Of course. Without testing the hypothesis again.

Sorry 1 U cleaner. You have something more to clear up today. Haha.

After that we moved on to Ikano, Ikea and The Curve. The Curve was really a cool cool place but there's few customers. May be because it's new. May be because it's weekday.

But well, there's this shop selling papers. Papers only! But ther papers were really pretty. It also sells all the decorations you see in notebooks, and greeting cards. Like metal studs, paper flowers, embossing beads, wire... There's this particularly woody paper perfect for decoration but it costs like RM10 per sheet! And the embossing set can amount to 100 plus to get that little special effect!

Ok. Good things aren't cheap. In the end I only got myself a pack of empty cards and a box of metal studs. But I must get back to the shop one day with bags of money. Haha.

The shop better pay me for this piece of advertisment.

When we were out of Ikano we drove accidentally into the North South Highway and were heading towards Ipoh! Luckily there was an exit out but we were lost again and finally when we were back on track, we were caught in after-work jam. And when we were finally out, it was already 8 plus.

That night, dinner was at 9.

But the trip was definitely very enjoyable since I have seen so many amazing design pieces!

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Thursday, May 04, 2006

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Live
~ wan xin
* a feel
* a soul
* a mind
* an emotion
* an inspiration

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- 土生土長的華人
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- 環境教了我福建話
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- 大學和喀麥隆教了我法語
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