The countdown continues
I went to Choong Hua with only 2 classmates from my kindergarten.
I went to MES with only 6 classmates while the rest entered the other school together.
A year after, I landed on the merlion land alone, with zero friend or relative.
4 years after, I found no SC girls in my new jc class.
And now, I am entering my next phase of life, uni, alone too.
Let's just hope that I will be as lucky as in the past, getting wonderful and unforgettable friends at every new world I enter.
By now, I should have been used to lone adventure. But somehow, I can still feel that tinge of fear and uncertainty within me.
And I am still not used to departure with friends and the old world I was in.
I hate it when they can only remain in my memory, not my life. I know that I should be able to get new friends who can just be as marvellous as, or even better than the friends I have had in Choong Hua, MES, SC, CJC or HC.
But that doesn't make me willing to part with the good old friends. I treasure everyone of them.
I like not to see us drifting apart, when my impression of them is unable to keep up with their changes. When I find myself to be already detached from their life.Not only have they shrunken into only my memory, I shrink from part of their life into part of their memory as well.
I know we can still constantly meet up and keep each other updated about our life, but well, the sense of participation will still be lacking no matter how.
Life is like a single-trip journey on a train.
People come and go, as they have their own train to take care of too.
They were once our passengers, and we were once theirs.
But after they take their leave, what's left in my own train will only be the scent of their presence, which will gradually get diluted by the arrival of new passengers.
We will get further and further apart as the trains continue on its own track.
But well, when everyone's asleep, I am sure I will slowly identify each scent of my passengers. Past and present.
And be remembered of the times we shared. Bitter or sweet.
And one day, when everybody finally leaves my train, I shall go on. Alone.
I know this is going to be the toughest moment in my 19 years. (Yes. I am not 20 yet)
I know that I will be stressed, destressed, pressed, depressed, confused, exasperated.
I know that this is normal, as the decision is simply too important to be slighted at, or even to leave it to chance.
I know I could have just stop thinking so much and head straight to the clearest path, but I would not settle for this easy option, as I want to research better before plunging into any university.
I know that much of the troubles I am experiencing now are here because I wanted them here. Because I didn't want to go easy. That's why it is difficult.
I know that after I past this phase, everything would seem so much simpler and when I look back, the decision would seem obvious. But for now, I will still be confused. But again, I know that it's normal.
I know that I would cherish myself for viewing this seriously. At least I treasure myself to not just simply dump myself anywhere.
I know that this trying moments will only make myself stronger, not weaker; wiser, not more foolish; better, not worse.
I know that this will not be the toughest moment in my life, as there will be many more more bitter ones to come. I know that this is just a little juncture I will face in my life. Nonetheless, it is crucial. At least for now.
I know that this period is here only to prepare me for the harder one in the future.
I know I will go on.
I know the fighting spirit in me will not die.
Aza aza Hoiti!
Woke up feeling a little strange today.
Nothing to rush for.
Nothing to prepare for.
Before I had the chance to enjoy myself,
The coaching programme.
The gruelling two-month preparation and the challenging one-week actual show.
There were times when we were so discouraged after multiple rejections by schools.
There were times when we felt so tired after working for so long and yet it seemed like we were not getting anything out of it.
There were times when we felt lost during the composition of the course handbook.
There were times when we felt disillusioned after having to resort from Plan A to Plan B and eventually Plan C.
But finally, everything is paid off.
At the end of the third meeting. When we received a call from a parent who indicated interest in sending her daughter for our course.
ASEAN COACHING PROGRAMME will go on.
That call from the parent of our first student seemed to be a stimulus for more good news.
We received good news from two primary schools agreeing for us to carry out our course for their students.
Now. Even ZhuangYuan JiLi Ban will be staged!
The rest of the days were spent on intensive meeting to perfect course materials, powerpoint presentations and oral presentation. We worked for 6 days a week, and almost 8 hours per day. After meeting didn't mean rest. We had to do self-reflection and personal preparation too.
And the hectic schedule continued itself all the way till the eve of the first course - Zhuang Yuan, on 27th May, at SJK Choong Wen. That night we broke record. The meeting ended at 9+pm! As there were too many loose ends to tie up.
(I hate it when I have to use past tense when describing the actions. Why can't it be present tense or even future tense?)
The first course went smooth and steady. We were shocked to see the vice-pres of 家教协会 monitoring the course. Ok MONITORING may be too strong a word as he was really a nice gentleman. Other than him another teacher and a parent who was our sponsor were present too.
The next day was another ZhuangYuan course at SJK Jia Dong (2). This time it seemed more intimidating as the number of students were more than doubled the previous course while there were a bunch of teachers sitting at the back! But in the end, it turned out more successful than Choong Wen's as the students were so enthusiastic!
ACP was on 31st May till 3rd June. 8 hours each day. (ZY was 4 hours) It was much tougher as the stuff we thought were harder, the no of students are too small to feel high, the hours were much longer.
Ok. Parents, please do not force your kids to attend any seminars if they are unwilling to. Cuz their mind will be shut. The students were more interested in knowing what's the time for lunch, for tea and to go back than the course itself. They came to get released.
We tried our best. But their level of absorption was dubious. Fortunately they had the course handbook. Hopefully they would use skills that we have taught them one day. When they turn more mature and serious.
ACP2 more like a brothers' day. 4 of the 6 participants were our own brothers. ACP2 participants were more motivated. But sometimes they were too independent for us to coach. Most of the coaching times we found ourselves standing behind. It was unnecessary to coach as they could do it on their own.
before we could be mentally prepared,
everything has ended.
Converted to memory.
We are back on our own paths, chasing after our own dreams.
But I am sure these 2 months were wonderful for everyone of us. No matter how many times we have disagreed on certain issues. No matter how many fewer hours we have slept. Or how early we had to wake up.
I would always treasure this period of my life.
I have tried to be an entrepreneur, a partner, a writer, a presenter, a coach, a friend to many minds, and a better friend to three great persons.
It's a life well-lived.