Wednesday, June 28, 2006

孤单上路

孤单上路

I wonder if I am always fated to enter the next phase of my life alone.

I went to Choong Hua with only 2 classmates from my kindergarten.

I went to MES with only 6 classmates while the rest entered the other school together.

A year after, I landed on the merlion land alone, with zero friend or relative.

4 years after, I found no SC girls in my new jc class.

And now, I am entering my next phase of life, uni, alone too.

Let's just hope that I will be as lucky as in the past, getting wonderful and unforgettable friends at every new world I enter.

By now, I should have been used to lone adventure. But somehow, I can still feel that tinge of fear and uncertainty within me.

And I am still not used to departure with friends and the old world I was in.

I hate it when they can only remain in my memory, not my life. I know that I should be able to get new friends who can just be as marvellous as, or even better than the friends I have had in Choong Hua, MES, SC, CJC or HC.

But that doesn't make me willing to part with the good old friends. I treasure everyone of them.

I like not to see us drifting apart, when my impression of them is unable to keep up with their changes. When I find myself to be already detached from their life.Not only have they shrunken into only my memory, I shrink from part of their life into part of their memory as well.

I know we can still constantly meet up and keep each other updated about our life, but well, the sense of participation will still be lacking no matter how.

Life is like a single-trip journey on a train.

People come and go, as they have their own train to take care of too.

They were once our passengers, and we were once theirs.

But after they take their leave, what's left in my own train will only be the scent of their presence, which will gradually get diluted by the arrival of new passengers.

We will get further and further apart as the trains continue on its own track.
But well, when everyone's asleep, I am sure I will slowly identify each scent of my passengers. Past and present.

And be remembered of the times we shared. Bitter or sweet.

And one day, when everybody finally leaves my train, I shall go on. Alone.

Peacefully.

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