Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Gloomy gloomy gloomy


The day is gloomy
The night is hazy
The sun is fading
The moon is hiding
PSI is rising
Health is deteriorating

It's during this hazy times that people are exceptionally gloomy. Losing interest in ccas, losing dreams in studies, losing hopes in human. It seems like ccas are more about politics and co-ordination among people than getting the real work done, studies is beyong cope, human is just limited by our own limitation and boundaries and there's no hope for pushing beyond.

Uni is about ups and downs. May be this is the down times for everyone. But disappoint not, there will be the uprise again after this dark dark time.

Peace for Indonesia fires. If it's so bad here, I wonder how the people are doing there. It must be REAL bad.

And I miss Hwa Chong, and 73, and Beng Beng, and mooncake, and lantern, and the songs, and the dances, and the sparkles, the claps, the crap... Saturday was really good, though PSI reached its peak at 150. But the night just reminded me of the innocence in JC. Well, it's not really innocence, but compared to now, it's definitely innocence. Sincere friends, sincere criticisms, direct hipocripsy, intended sabotage. Not exactly smooth going, but may be because it's gone, and rested peacefully only in memory, that JC seemed so memorable now, and consists only of positive stuff. And when we meet up, there's only so little time, leaving no room for quarrels and kan4bu4shuang3-ness. That's why we long for the past times, and the past friends. Your worlds don't converge anymore, there's no source of quarrels and disagreement.

But well, present is now for us to take. It's up to us, up to me to define, to shape my experience. I have no idea how well am I a sculptor of future, but I will definitely try my best. For now.

"If weeds can grow between bricks which in every way try to eliminate their every breath of life, I don't see why we can't flourish admist challenges which in every way try to grow us"

~wan xin while walking back to hall

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