Thursday, April 12, 2007

ambivalent me


somehow when happiness lasts for too long
I will start to be afraid of it
May be it's the fear of losing it
the fear that I will get used to it
Fear that it will become part of me
such that once it's gone, so does a part of me
May be I should just live by the day
And get all all all my memory erased by the nights
and yes emotions too
So that when the sun shines again
I will carry no baggage of yesterday
So that I will enjoy everyday
With no fear of losing yesterday
Sometimes I just hope that life would
stop
stop moving forward
stop changing
stop taking away the people I love
stop introducing the new and the unfamiliar
just stop

Yes psychology you are right. I think my attachment style is that of anxious/ambivalent. Wanna get close and yet scared of getting too close. I can't help this temperament either. Can you understand me?

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