New academic year ahead, no, now
I am almost seeing my past. In the faces and actions of those carrying a map and looking lost. Those who apologetically asked for directions and told you that they are late for lectures and tutorials. Those who looked at campus directory but don't understand. That was me. Yes past tense. Last year this time I ws doubting if I was seriously already a university student. But now I am here, a Year 2. My first Year 2 lecture was so fated to be situated next to the LT where I took my first university lecture. It seemed like a progression huh. It was Introduction to Psychology then. And now I am here, looking specifically (yet broadly) into Personality Psychology.
I am looking at S4 now. In bright day light. It's no longer my home at night. The corridors are clean, the lights uncovered. The lift buttons unblocked, no decorations on the floor or wall. There's no candle, no diary pieces, no hair. Everything seems perfectly normal, and humanly. It's so normal, that I doubt the possibility of a ghost walk creation. I know every staircase, every lift. We have names for it. Right now, everything is still the same, but the names can only stay in my heart. Never again will we use them in communication, never will we use it to refer to places. The lifts will be taken as per normal, no one will touch the staircase.
Yet, when I walk pass these spots, there's always a secret voice deep within me, yelling to me their names: SP room, original SP room, secret admirer's room, dark alley, bright alley, scary corridor, not-scary scary corridor, funeral place, Juon's corridor.
These names will be buried. Their cemetry in my heart. I miss the times.
Rest in peace.
La nouvelle annee, le nouveau semestre. Tout est le même tout, mais je sais que quelque chose a changé.
Labels: 3er, thinking