Friday, November 23, 2007

Ever had the feeling that you wanna cry so hard, but the situation just doesn't allow you to?
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Wednesday, November 21, 2007

It's just another paper wat..

I had 2 papers today, 1.5 hours of break in between my two each 2.5 hours papers.

15 minutes before my second paper which was French, I suddenly was struck by panic. Just felt extremely scared and nervous about the paper. Not wanting to bring such emotions into my exam hall, I signed into MSN and looked for friends for comfort. I found Sherene.

When telling her about me panicking and asked for calming words, her words were:

"It's just a paper. Not a matter of life and death what."

These words struck upon me, and immediately,

I felt calm.

Yeah it's just a paper. Why am I making such a fuss out of it? It's just another task to do, just like the rest of everyday's life tasks, that demand you to do your best. Am I not doing my best in everyday life? If I am, it's just the same attitude I have to have for exams. Since everyday life doesn't make me panic, why should this other task?

Wendy from Landmark asked me before if I have a story for exams. I didn't understand what she meant then. Exams are exams what. What stories would I have of it? I am not like extremely fearful of it, nor do I detest it. Now I do understand. I do have a story about exams, that they are extremely important and put my life extremely at stake.

Now, not that I think exams are not important. They are still EXTREMELY IMPORTANT and PUT MY LIFE AT STAKE. But I do also realise that I view other life tasks as important too. Just that the attitude is different, and I don't feel the same anxiety for everyday tasks, like meeting friends, meeting companies or attending lessons. I need to change my emotions towards exams. I need not feel scared about it while I prepare my best for it. It's just another life task.

If the same sentiment struck you sometimes, hope this sharing has enlightened you a little. It's just a paper what. Not a matter of life and death!

Thanks Sherene~

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Friday, November 16, 2007

又是一个凌晨,一个近早晨的凌晨。又是一个人,在黑暗中的一个人。又是在听音乐,想用音乐或课本催眠自己的方法。又是烦躁,因为睡不着而烦躁。真的累了。可不可以就让我睡?可不可以不要让休息变成人生最大的难题?我真的有在试着早睡早起。睡了五小时后考了试游了泳却睡不着,我还能怎么办?眼睁睁地看着天亮,听着鸟的叫声,看着窗外的树丛黑变青,看着壁灯熄灭,听着房外的脚步越来越多,茫然地用呆滞的头脑看着已看不下去的课本,我就只能这样吧。

身边应该不会有很多人像我,因为睡得着而开心吧。也应该不多人像我,每天一到夜晚就好像要打战似地忐忐忑忑吧。有多少人,因为抓得到睡意而兴奋地立刻上床,用尽一切方法让自己睡,考虑接受医生的建议是安眠药,脑子累到暴却怎样也昏不过去。真得很累,还要这样更是身心疲惫。可是疲惫的人却得不到休息。躺在床上,只是徒然。然后脑筋就会开始四面八方地想。

爸爸妈妈对不起,我真的有在试着早睡。我没有骗你们,我真得很努力。只是,凌晨的我,感到好无助...好想哭。

6 rustlings

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Think I have changed. Suddenly.
0 rustlings

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

What my roomie pays her schools fees for



Out of boredom, I snatched my roomie's Thermal Physics textbook to read. And see what I read from this very reputable course:

Small numbers are small numbers.
Large numbers are much larger than small numbers.
Very large numbers are even larger than large numbers.

Haha I totally understand huh. And that's worth paying 6k per sem to study for. Might as well give it to me. I can teach her how to say lame jokes and that's more meaningful.

By the way, she doesn't study early childhood education. She does P.H.Y.S.I.C.S.

Mind me, I am not insulting Physics or her or anybody studying or researching on this field.

By the way, while jogging out of NTU, our first time journey to the west of NTU (means turn left when you exit NTU at Jalan Bahar), she was being chased by a dog. Haha. Oops that's not funny at all. I can witness that.

We were being stared by the malicious dogs on our way back. To be cautious, we decided to jog on the central partition instead. (I need to take my exam uninjured tomorrow) Who knows once we started crossing the road the dogs started running madly at us. I crossed the next road to reach the opposite side (almost got knocked down by a white car), to see at my horror the dog chasing at my roomie who was helplessly running. The dog was like so close to her, about 30cm away at most.

Luckily the owner came out on time to whistle and summon the dogs back. Else we're probably at NUH now.

Poor roomie. She's suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder now. I am just exaggerating. But the 1 minute was real scary. Enough to keep us talking about it till night.

Anyway, people should try to jog that direction seriously. If you can jog for 3km there, you will be able to see amazing side of Singapore, the emergency runway. No high-rise buildings, only greenery and tranquility, together with cemetries. Perfect place to see sunset with the widest sky you can ever have in Singapore.

Yes so imagine us being tired from our 6km run, still have to run even faster to escape the dogs.

End of story. First paper in 10 hours time. Wish me luck.

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2 rustlings

Sunday, November 04, 2007

The ya-das about life


5 Nov - WH's + MH's birthday
6 Nov - Yi Zhen's birthday
8 Nov - Landmark group outing to Sungai Buloh
10 Nov - WJ's birthday
11 Nov - Company meeting with Astoria Consulting
14 Nov - COM201 exam 1300 - 1500 [Foundations of Communication]
20 Nov - HP 207 exam 1300 - 1530 [Abnormal Psychology]
21 Nov - HP204 exam 1300 - 1530 [Personality Psychology] + HMF 3 exam 1700 - 1930 [French 3]
22 Nov - HG801 exam 1300 - 1500 [Language Puzzles - Linguistics]
23 Nov - HP206 exam 1430 - 1700 [Cognitive Psychology]
24 Nov - Back home
29 Nov - Landmark In Action final seminar
30 Nov - AIESEC Post Exam Party
1 Dec - AIESEC Members Holiday Enrichment Programme + 3ers' night cycling
5 Dec - bro's bday!
7 Dec - 73's outing (tentative)
8 Dec - Hoohoo's birthday
9 Dec - Jaspar's bday + Preparation for National Leadership Development Seminar 2007 Singapore
13 Dec - NLDS Singapore! [I am a co-faci!]
15 Dec - AIESEC Gala Dinner
17 Dec - Post NLDS
29 Dec - 73s BBQ!

After exams
- Build my credibility for Heckhausen's coding manual
- Analyse data for my prof's research
- Design hypothesis + start programming for my own research
- Read history for Psychology
- Find out more on I/O Psychology
- Improve on ICX context [information co-ordination, sales strategies, manpower allocation]
- Help out in Networking Night Organising Committee
- Decide my future path in AIESEC

- Bring my brothers and friends around Singapore


Yes! It seems like my post exam time is pretty unfixed, which is great! Though there will be a lot of research, AIESEC work to do, everything is pretty flexible I guess! Looking forward to more activities and more rest!

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0 rustlings

I am feeling these sentences

I am feeling this sentence

"How (the feeling) can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you"

It sounds nice.

It's from 'The Holidays'. A touchingly romantically good movie. Now I understand why those trashy romance clicks in me. Cuz it tells only a tale of the ordinary life, which is, so much of us.

I am just insane.

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Live
~ wan xin
* a feel
* a soul
* a mind
* an emotion
* an inspiration

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我的語言
- 土生土長的華人
- 學校教了我英文和馬來文
- 環境教了我福建話
- 電視劇教了我廣東話
- 大學和喀麥隆教了我法語
- 在一個早上接觸了手語
- 最後一學期一口氣學了日語和西班牙語

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