Monday, March 31, 2008

讨厌这个虚伪的世界。If things don't work out with one person, you can think that it is something wrong between you and the person. But if everything started not working well on you, then you start to think if it is seriously you who has the problem. Feel helpless when things just KEEP ON not going well. Is it something in me? Have I changed that much? Have I started not being able to work well with people? What happened to me? Friendship is deteriorating, realizing there are more and more people I can't stand, whom previously I regard dearly as friends. Not sure if this is due to me knowing them better or me changing into a difficult person who stands no one. Helpless. Clueless. Confused. I might as well just bury myself in the books now.
1 rustlings

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Humbled


I am back from Japan. After a 15 days of crazy fun, intense learning and emotional roller coaster.

Before I launch into my long story, which I probably will withhold till May, I shall just quickly pen down what I learnt - something that didn't strike me till now.

I am humbled through my Japan trip. By listening to people's stories. Everyone has been through rough patches, like really rough patches. Everyone has been through the worst in their life. While I will not compare whose is worse, I can just say, I have learnt a lot about life, about my friends around, through listening to their stories. And through this, I am humbled. Awed by the complexity of life. A four letter word that presents so much to a human, and to each, his own. Kudos to everyone who has mustered the courage to walk through their downs, kudos to those who didn't have the courage but still walked through nonetheless. Thanks for your sharing, that I have gotten to learn a little more.

Meanwhile, cheers to great friendship formed during the conference!

0 rustlings

Sunday, March 09, 2008

Youth wave in Malaysia

Videos I like regarding the election.

Campaign song by Democratic Action Party

What the young has to say about the country.

What do young politicians have to say about Malaysia.

What a nominational day is like. HOT!

Idiot's guide to Malaysian election. For those who used to be politically apathetic.

Polling on a wedding day.

0 rustlings

Malaysia Election 2008

Thanks to global warming, the global climate is changing; thanks to change in Malaysian societal situation, the political climate is changing.

I didn't go back to vote. My dad wanted me to. Being bred in Singapore for so long, I realised I am acculturated into political apathy. Thoughts like 'who cares about election?', 'why purposely go back just to vote?' passed through my mind, or the thought about going home for voting didn't even pass my mind!

Now I am a little embarrassed by my such thoughts. Apparently the citizens of Malaysia have awaken, and actively took on the role of having a say in the national affairs. This year marked high rate of voting, even among the traditionally apathetic Chinese. Average voting rate is 70+%. For my hometown, it's 82%. I am sorry I contributed .0004% to the non-voters. I saw Yap at Boon Lay yesterday. He told me he was going home to vote. Then I had an internal debate if I should go home to vote too. Dad said it's an act to 'exercise your right for the well-being of others'. But I thought, I have Open House, and I have visitor from China coming, so I couldn't go home. And I didn't go home eventually. Now I am embarrassed by myself.

But yeah. Results have been truly stunning. From 20 seats in election 2004, the opposition parties have garnered up to 82 seats this year in the parliament! Amazing. I can feel the climate of change now. People are being wiser consumer of knowledge, more able to distinguish which are facts and which are claims by political parties. They are less able to be threatened by governmental's threat: 'Opposition wins and the country will sink into riots', 'Opposition wins and no Chinese in the parliament' etc. And such, opposition wins big time this round. In fact, the biggest victory since the nation's independence. The first time in history that Barison Nasional loses two third majority. And first time other than the Islamic party are oppositional parties governing states. And 5 states in all up to now: Kedah, Penang, Kelantan, Perak, Selangor. My state is in. In my town, oppositional party won too.

Was ultra surprised to see how many of my friends of the younger generation are concerned about the election. Look at the MSN nicknames and you find people commenting about it. Many were following up with the results. Even though we are all overseas. Cool! Yeah we should have a say in the country, and be concerned about the country. 毕竟,tanah tumpahnya darahku.

Hoping to get more news tomorrow. My dad must be real happy now. The time of change has come.

For news about Malaysian election:
http://malaysiakini.aizuikmal.com/ - for instant updates on election results
http://merdekareview.blogspot.com/ - instant updates in Chinese
http://www.malaysiatoday.com/ - more instant updates on election
http://www.sinchew-i.com/taxonomy/term/19 - includes commentary and detailed breakdown on results by each parliament and state seats in Chinese

Enjoy!

For more enjoyment, this is for your entertainment.

Lenlen looks really cute with specs.

But piglet looks so old with specs.

My habit for blogging is coming back.

Labels: ,

0 rustlings

Saturday, March 08, 2008

又睡不着了。所以我选择颓废。今天,也许又会看到日出吧。

去日本的时间近了,恐怖的是,大家的压力都猛猛地提高。现在的我,还好。也许是因为麻木了吧。又或者疲惫了吧。已经提不起这么多的精神在高压力了。但是放心,现在的我,还好。

听着自己网上日记的歌,一时很安详,一时有小惆怅。也不知道为了什么。很多时候,我们不一定要知道为什么吧。让一切归于现状,不必太追究,生命会少烦很多吧。不要为了改变不了的事实烦,因为烦了不代表解决了。所以,放开吧。得到过的答案,听了就接受吧。不要再一味的想了。蠢一点,简单一点,生命会更好。

我想睡觉了。

0 rustlings

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

We are all on a game to achieve balance. But it is not the attainment of balance that provides us with satisfaction and happiness. Rather, it is the process of attaining balance that supplies us the fulfilment.

2 rustlings

Monday, March 03, 2008

You guys don't see

You guys see me jumping around like a Duracell Bunny. You guys see me smiling everyday like I've never got tears. You guys look at me talking happily with everyone like I am so sociable and all and fitting alright in this organization.

You guys don't see the times when I struggle. When I struggle, it's a lone struggle. No one is there, no one is there to talk to you, no one's there for you to hold on to. No one. Keep it to yourself dude! You are supposed to be managing all the problems yourself. Tough, cuz it's your choice.

You guys don't see the times when I experience self-doubt, when I wonder again and again if running for LCP was the right decision. During times when I struggle so badly among studies AIESEC and friends and emotions, you guys don't see it. You guys don't see the tears that flow. You guys don't see the sorrow and the anguish. It's all hidden, all under cover.

I look perfectly all fine. I have my flaws, so does everyone. So I am fine. And furthermore I am cheerful! I am optimistic! I am smart! So I am faring even better than the majority. SO I AM FINE. Yay dude! Good guess. Bad accuracy.

I feel like suffocating now. So many things tumbling down all at one go. Presentations, quiz, visa, EB selection, agm, year plan, transition. How long more can I go on? Is there anyone in the vicinity to help? I see my roommate sleeping so peacefully. Why the hell did I summon all these upon myself? I know adversities make us stronger. I know I will turn out fine and well and better. Now it is jsut very bad. Very very bad. I can't sleep I can't read I can't think. I am not as good as who you think I am. The night is getting colder, but I am still alone. Don't know what I am doing, why I am doing what I am doing, what I shall do next and how do I proceed on. I haven't even bathed yet and it's already 2am. Life is in a mess and so I am. Thought I have just tidied up my table but looking at it may be no. And tomorrow I am supposed to meet my teacher advisor talking about don't know what. Hell with impression management and looking professional. Now I am just the lost confused helpless clueless weak Wan Xin. Leave me alone! Help only if you are keen to.

0 rustlings

Live
~ wan xin
* a feel
* a soul
* a mind
* an emotion
* an inspiration

+ 13071986
+ ENFP
+ Blue
+ Cancer
+ Buddhist
+ Malaysian
+ Psychology NTU
+ AIESECer
+ Hwa Chong 04S73
+ SCGS
+ MES
+ Choong Hua

我的語言
- 土生土長的華人
- 學校教了我英文和馬來文
- 環境教了我福建話
- 電視劇教了我廣東話
- 大學和喀麥隆教了我法語
- 在一個早上接觸了手語
- 最後一學期一口氣學了日語和西班牙語

Ticking

My whenabouts at my whereabout

Rustle

~Leave me your contact method~

Footsteps

Free Web Counter
Counters