My fear and my excitement

I bumped into my Martinique friend in NTU yesterday. He asked me about where my Cameroon trip. I told him. He commented, 'You don't look too excited about it.'

He was right. I was pretty much burnt out these days by all the logistical procedures, and getting pretty worried about so many things - vaccinations, safety, money, flight, visa, accommodation, food, water, electricity, language, communication with family etc. Probably these have consumed up all my enthusiasm for it. The information about Cameroon on internet is far and few, probably because I don't know the right French search words for it. Sometimes these information can be overly negative - and that affects me too. I don't know what other vaccination to take, how much I should bring there, what should I bring there, what should I wear, how should I handle my commitment here etc etc etc. Trust me, if you are too cautious, the logistics can burn you into ashes.

On the same day, due to a spontaneous sms, I decided to meet up with Rina. I went packed with questions to ask her.

But somehow when I saw her, every question needs no answer anymore. The questions no longer seem to matter, the questions no longer feel important anymore. Somehow, a new attitude befell on me - Come what may. I will take care of the essentials, and everything else shall take care of itself. Somehow, the internship doesn't seem to intimidate anymore. And I am again, flooded with excitement and interest - to the point I wish I was there in the next minute.

I have come to realise that preparation for the internship is indeed one whole learning experience on its own. I have already started learning about cross-cultural difference, about international travelling, and most importantly, I have discovered what I am fearful about, and I have experienced generating courage from within.

我想去非洲

我想去非洲！

我知道非洲和这里很不同，文化、语言、天气、风俗都不是我所习惯的。可能会很苦，可能会很难适应。但不知道为什么，我还是很想去非洲。

我一连两个晚上翻看了两次《世界自然景观》的图画书。里面有不同洲的图片和介绍，我却对非洲的目不转睛。老实说，我并没有对它情有独钟。澳洲和南极洲的其实也很引人入胜。对于非洲，我甚至还有很多的畏惧，很多的恐慌。但不知为什么，我看着非洲的图片，就立即想象着自己在图片里的情景。好兴奋哦！我现在就想过去。看着那里的动物、地形、植物、生活，应该会很好玩吧！

我当然还有很多的不安。我不知道自己真的能不能适应。那里也许不能打电话回家，我会不会因为孤独而哭？很辛苦的话要怎么办？现在突然有一个想法。我若真的去，我要先向大家收集只言片语。万一真的想家，至少有这些只言片语为慰藉。啊连想到可能发生的伤心的事我都可以变得超兴奋！自己应该是真的很想去吧。

到时候，我以确定了去期，我就要一家人和朋友为我写信条。每天一点点信条，让我可以带去看！

哈哈六点了的我还可以那么兴奋，功劳非非洲不可！

我要我要我要去非洲！