媽媽的話語

媽媽把我去非洲的故事從她的角度寫成了一篇散文，在今天的報紙上刊登了。原來，孩子的點點滴滴，都會緊緊地揪著媽媽的心。

最近的我

最近的我工作很忙。实习方面已经上了轨道，我都是自己撑大局去见公司做销售。公司常常都是以法语沟通。用法语日常交流还可以，但用法语做生意上的沟通和税负还真的不容易。所以我常常讲到一半就破功，最后老板们都愿意试用他们的英语和我沟通。

最近的我都在做销售，所以天天搭着德士在雅温得到处跑。虽然穿这高跟鞋走一整天的黄泥路很痛，但我也因此看了更多城市的不同画面，看到更多不同的地方和民情。

最近的我学做了一道非洲餐 —— 花生酱青菜配水煮香蕉。虽然多数时间都是艾薇怡在煮我在看，但我也很努力地写下了所有的配料和步骤，希望可以回家煮给大家吃。

最近的我在去爱薇怡的家的时候天不作美下起了倾盆大雨，结果我一到目的地那里是无止尽的空旷的木厂。爱薇怡警告过我这里很多骚扰。但雨太大我没法只好冲向一个亭子。亭子里有很多很多其他的人，几乎都是男人。大家很兴奋地不停地叫着“chinoise！”我一听，一怕，又往雨幕里冲。大家叫得更凶了。我仔细一听，大家在喊：“雨太大了，你不可以这样冒雨跑！”大家要我进去避雨。我谨慎地走了进去。大家把我带到唯一的一张凳子，那里坐着一位太太。他们要我坐着等雨停。之后，再也没有人来搭讪。我听着如雷的雨，看着滴水的头发，心里是阵阵的感动。这么好的人，这么善良的人，只是我都被自己的成见早造了一道墙！

最近的我终于把辫子头弄掉了。花了十一个小时，头皮头被扯得好痛。那个近两个星期没碰水的头，给我彻彻底底从头到尾从左到右洗了三次才算干净。顶着一头真发，我突然觉得好清爽。又实实在在地有了身为华人的感觉。

最近的我去看了一场全国才艺比赛。雅娜的朋友是主办者，居然为我们留了第一排的中间座位。参赛者的舞蹈歌艺都超赞的，看得我目瞪口呆，忍不住狂拍手叫好。来了一位知名饶舌手叫Valsero，人又帅歌又赞！果然非洲人是天生的表演家。

最近的我很忙。星期二到星期四，白天实习，傍晚做AIESEC的事，差不多天天到网吧报到。但是，看到自己的力量有了正面的影响，又产生了一股力量，继续推动着我。

完全非洲

拆辫子的痛

被辫了两个星期的后果。但一冲亮就直回来了！

我的专栏

我将在南洋商报有自己的游记专栏！

全体同仁请注意：自下星期二起，《自游非洲》每逢星期二南洋商报教育版见报！

嘻嘻

雨过天晴

我很开心地宣布：雨过天晴罗！

经过四天彻底的休息，加上各位朋友们超级温馨地鼓励，我终于走出了想家的阴霾。现在的我，很开心地以全新的眼睛享受世界的美，和人生的美好。比利时的维森说：“要积极迎向人生的每一个机会，要从每件事中看到正面！”新加坡的静雅说：“当下就是你所拥有的一切，而不是你心目中的想象。”我也翻读了朋友写给我的纸条，也察看了部落格朋友的留言。句子字字，只言片语，很简单，但对此时的我，意义特别深远。

我想，追根究底，自己最大的障碍，就是自己的“应该”心态吧。我一直在认为这个情况应该是那样那样的，而不是这样这样的。我应该是开心的，而不是烦恼的。我应该是享受的，而不是痛苦的。我应该更享受这里的，而不是这么忙碌的。种种应该，遮蔽了我的心灵，让我根本看不到自己现有的一切。一直到荷兰的约瑟来到我家，大声惊叹说我的家太好了。我才突然发现，自己一直往上比较的心态，让我完全无视到我家的可爱，而一直让我觉得好痛苦。我比较错了。我不应该因为看到更有钱的人家的所有而难过，而要因为看到更不幸的人家的没有而感到幸运。哎呀我的“应该”心态又出现了。去去去！星期六，我在写日记的时候，一面把家里每个角落重看了一遍。我发现自己的家其实真的很美好，以它自己的方式美好。我的工作，以它自己的形式忙碌的美好，很法语的美好。这样，就够了。现在，就很美好。

上个周末，我给自己放了假，彻彻底底地去享受雅温得的生活。星期五，理查带我我去闻名已久的摩科罗市场找了裁缝裁了两件非洲衣裳，让我正是看到市场的热闹和复杂。之后，布亚的丹尼尔来探望我，我和他以走路的方式看了好多地方。

星期六，我宣布独立，自己搭车到动物园去看动物。路上的人都很好，在我没问他们之前就帮我指引方向了。在动物园，我不出意料地被搭讪了，而且被搭了一整个游动物园的时光。但是，我很享受自己很诚实地拒绝人的经验，既不撒谎也不给假的承诺。之后有社团活动，天黑之后我自己走路回家，非常有成就感。

星期天，我又走路过一个山头去找新来的实习生，然后带她去城市走走。之后是在公园草地上的实习生反馈会，大家谈着谈着从中了解了一堆文化差异而产生的误会。反馈到一半有一群人想和我们这群白人录影。再之后大家去全市最好的面包店聊天吃面包。惬意。

星期一，我去找艾薇怡，她花了一整天的时间帮我弄了一整头两百一十个小辫子。我现在头上混着一堆的假发，加上最近变黑的肤色，应该比较像个非洲小女孩了吧。走在街上,希望会有更少人察觉得出我不是本地人。下两个星期都不用洗头了。崭新的体验。

明天，又能好好投入新的挑战了。

雨过天晴了。心情美美的。我回顾六个星期前的自己，我开始感受到自己不同了。好像什么东西在改变了。我常告诉别人出国实习会改变一个人的一生，我开始相信了。

介绍。。全新的我！

My closest encounter with con men

I went to visit some banks today for company meetings. After that, I waited for a taxi to go back. Standard routine.

A taxi came to me and I said my address 'La Gare de Bessengue', the driver honked, a sign of acceptance. The taxi had 2 other passengers, both males. The first thing I entered, I realised that the taxi does not have a tag. Oh careless me how come I forgot to check for this before I enter? It is always good practice to ensure that the taxis I take are licensed. But well, let's just be for this time. I carefully looked at the path the driver was taking, just to be sure he's taking the normal route.

Halfway, one passenger who was seated in the front, Mr. Skinny, spoke in English but the driver couldn't understand him, and asked me to help translate. But the second passenger who was sitting beside me, Mr. Fat, helped to translate instead. Mr. Skinny just came off from the airport, and his European brother gave the taxi driver 5000F to take him to the blind centre. He comes from the Vatican City and is going to the blind centre to give them blessings. The taxi driver said that the blind centre is in Yaounde not Douala, and Yaounde is 200km away. Mr. Skinny exclaimed and asked the driver to take him back to the airport after dropping all of us so that he can take another flight to Yaounde. "Money is no problem for me," said Mr. Skinny.

Then, he turned to thank me and Mr. Fat for the translation, and offered us some money for the service. Mr. Fat said no we will not accept it, and I quickly agreed. Mr. Skinny then said he will pray for us instead. So he took the hand of Mr. Fat and mine, and performed some prayer. He then asked us for paper, which the driver gave. He gave Mr. Fat and I each a piece, and asked us to put all our money in, and he will pray that our wealth will increase. Mr. Fat quickly used it to wrap a paper-wrapped bunch, and some loose cash notes. I wrapped it with my 200F (around RM1.60) taxi money. Mr. Skinny prayed for Mr. Fat, and asked him to keep his money in his pocket. He then took mine. When he was about to pray, he frowned.
Mr. Skinny: That can't be all your money.
Me: That's all I have.
Mr. Skinny: C'mon. You should take out all your money so that I can pray for you.
Me: I only had these much for today.
Mr. Skinny: Where are the rest of your money?
Me: They are at home.
Mr. Skinny: Who do you stay with?
Me: My husband.
Mr. Skinny: Is your husband at home now?
Me: No he's working.

(All along, Mr. Fat was doing translation for me into French, which I have repeatedly told him I understand English.)

Mr. Skinny finally performed his blessing for me, and returned me my paper and money.

Mr. Skinny: When we get to your house, I will bless all your money for you.
Me: Ok.
Mr. Skinny: Who are in your home?
Me: My friends.
Mr. Skinny: You know, I don't need a lot of people to gather for me. Just bring out all your money, and I will pray for you.
Me: No it's ok.
Mr. Skinny: Why not?
Me: It's really ok.
Mr. Skinny: You are not bringing out your money?
Me: No.
Mr. Skinny: Why not?
Me: Because I don't need your blessings. Your blessing now is good enough.

By then, the taxi has thankfully arrived at La Gare de Bessengue. I took out the 200F from the paper wrap, gave it to the driver and walked off. This was truly a funny episode, and I have no idea what that weird Vatican man is doing.

When I reached the MC house, I showed the paper to Belinda, and I told her that this was given by a man who claimed he comes from Vatican. Immediately, Belinda looked really concerned. She asked me to check if my handphone is still around, as well as my other valuables. I checked. They are all there. Belinda told me that this is a con, all people in the taxi are one gang of con men together. The MCs started going into their own recounts of the various con incidents they have encountered.

As I was listening, I was like phew! I am so glad that nothing happened to me eventually. Because, though I felt that the situation was weird, I did not diagnose that they were all con men together. I did not realise how close I was with danger. Very luckily, nothing bad has happened to me, except a weird taxi ride. Better still, the sharing and joking of the story has healed my homesickness by a lot. Immediately after the laugh off, I felt so much better now, that I am smart and I have saved myself.

Weirdly, these con men have made my day. But it's definitely been a close brush with danger.

活下去

山不转路转，路不转人转，人不转心转。此话果然不错。

昨天，当我再次回到家的时候，虽然一切都还一样，但我的看法已经换了千山万水。当我在厨房装水，然后把水扛到厕所去时，虽然水重得可以弄断我的手指，但我居然听见自己对自己说：“这就是如假包换的非洲生活！”我很聪明地发明了挂衣的方法。我把自己的睡裤裤带打一个结，把结挂在铁钉上，这样我就可以在裤子上放完其他的衣服！那唯一的钉子太小了，根本挂不上几件衣。然后，我把洗好的衣服挂在废弃的花洒的开关上。冲凉的时候会一直传来旁边马桶阵阵的异味。我共提了两桶水去冲凉。冲完之后，居然还剩了半桶。真省水。

我的房间今天亮灯了。又是一盏小黄。收留我的Richard帮我换了灯。傍晚跟我同睡的Beatrice一回来，喊了我一声：“Ma copine! (我的朋友！)亲切得让我突然好感动。她问我吃了没。我说我应该在外面吃吗？她说不是，你回来吃。晚餐时她弄的。前天吃芋头、菜和牛肉，今天吃香蕉和辣椒牛肉。都很好吃。只是分量有一点大。我跟她说了。后来爸爸吃饭时，我跟他说了一声：“Bon apetite！”他听得好开心。晚上，我就在他们的客厅写日记。写完之后我在床上用电脑，一直到睡觉。我在睡觉前跟Beatrice提出了要一点放东西的位子。

早上好像不需要设闹钟。外面的小孩嬉戏的声音在七点就会把我弄醒。早餐是Richard帮我弄的。吃了两天的香蕉糕。今天一早，Beatrice给了我几个衣架挂衣服。我很自便地把她的衣服挪在一起，腾出一个位子给我挂衣服。然后，我又把自己行李箱里日常用的东西拿出来，摆在桌子的一个角。可能今天晚上我问Richard要一张椅子来放其他的东西。我的旅行背包腾空了。终于可以把他打包好让它好好躺着休息一下。否则，我真的很担心它的背脊会不会坏掉。我把剩下的东西放在旅行箱里。

我好像又适应了。我好像又很快地把更多的舒适丢掉了。Tim告诉我他老板的阿姨家里有空房。Guy说住不好的话跟他说，他会想办法。Heleen和Jana都在慰问我。我应该在这典型非洲家庭里呆下去，还是去找另一片舒适？非常矛盾。我的健康意识和我的冒险精神在辩论。

The ultimate

With all excitement, I moved out of Ubrine's house, to stay with my hosting family. I have no idea who they are, where the house is, and how was my living condition going to be like. But I think it's going to be fantastic, because I have seen Jana's house, and it's really luxury as compared to the house I am staying in. Not to mention the cold water and no fans which I have abandoned these needs since long time, but she has a room to herself, she has shower head, she has clean room which she can take off her shoes before entering. So I went, with a lot of hope and excitement.

But the house turned out to shock me all the way till now. The house has 3 dogs, the entire family speaks French and I can't understand them, I am sharing a room with the sister, sharing the bed and have no place to put my stuff at all. I saw a cockroach ran past the floor. The best thing is, my room light is spoiled. I spent 30 minutes yesterday in the dark to look for my shower stuff. The host, after seeing me taking so long in the room, came and asked me innocently, 'you can't find your things in the dark?'

In the bathroom, there is no flowing water. A little boy carried a pail of water for me. Looking at the quantity, I know I don't need to dream about washing my hair today. There was no hook or any place to put my clothes. In the end, I hang everything dangerously on two nails. Perhaps, the better thing the bathroom has as compared to the MC house, is that it has locks.

I wanted to go out and buy bottled drinking water, but my host suggested that I should adapt to drinking from the tap.

I admit I am not strong. A mere bad living housing condition is destroying my loud shouts about wanting to do an internship in Africa. But somehow, I find it hard to convince myself that I can live on here. Yes there is a possibility of shifting homes, but I guess it is very rude to do so, as it shows you despise the house. I have talked to the host here, the things that can hopefully change, is to have lights in my room and place to put my stuff. I can't demand them for flowing water or for a bed to myself. I guess I have to live with wearing footwear all the time. But water.. having to compromise on hygiene. My health consciousness is screaming at me. And safety. With no place to put my belongings, it means everything will stay in my suitcase. And where will I lock my money and laptop? Unless I lock and unlock the suitcase everyday. Or should I just trust everyone and leave them open? It's probably rude to show the host family that you don't trust them huh. I don't know!

There is a part of me that is saying that it's ok. It's only 8 weeks. You are here to challenge Africa, and people do live in the living condition that you are currently in. So you are here to experience it like them as well. Furthermore, you won't die without having a place to put your stuff, without light in the room, or without washing your hair everyday. Let's see how far you can push your boundary to.

I am really missing home very much now. I miss not needing to worry about hygiene and health. I miss not needing to worry about flowing water. I miss walking bare-footed. I miss the hangers in the bathroom. I miss the comfort. I don't know why I am here for so long. I should just touch and go without complicating my life too much. Right now, I really really missing my home, or the room in my hall. I miss the space, I miss the light. I miss free drinking water.

I want to go home......

Somehow as I am writing this, at the back of my mind, I know I will somehow change my mindset very fast. I will somehow adapt, and start throwing away more comfort that I always think I need. And then I will start living comfortably in the same environment, enjoying the life again, and start wanting more challenges again. I think I will. I hate myself being so rational and so strong. It seems like there is no way for me to just collapse, and let others take care of me. Somehow, I will always save some energy for sanity and mental strength to support myself through. It is good, but it is so tiring.

我的生活描写图

还记得在准备去喀麦隆时，比利时的Andries跟我预备过这么一句话。他说，在喀麦隆，我生活的每一个细节也许会不同。我睡的床会不同，甚至我盖的被也会不同。 这也许是我所得到最恰当的心理建设了吧。

一切果然如此。如今，我的一切行住坐卧吃喝拉睡，和在家的比较，就像马来西亚和喀麦隆一样地远。

我如今暂住在一个AIESEC会员的校外学生宿舍里。学生宿舍坐落在坡上，外面有很多的小档小店。我常常会走上坡又走下坡，再往另一端走下坡又走上坡，只希望能看到一点吃的。可是，自己都不好意思开口问人，加上我的肉眼很奇怪地都看不到食物，所以我的午餐通常都是靠路边的小吃和水果度过的。我常常会为了买黄梨而走个三四百米。一路上，我已习惯大家对我好奇的注视。我最近发现其实喀麦隆的人真的很亲切。他们的问候不是一味的搭讪，而是这里的人真的逢人都会打招呼。上德士也会，买东西也会。所以，我也学会了回应人家的招呼，甚至主动向人问好。

在房间里，小小的房间有一个橱、一张放电视的桌子、一张梳妆台、一张茶几、一张椅子、一只风扇、一个炉子、一间厕所和一张床。我和Ubrine共睡那张大床。房间布置得非常雅致。门窗和空白的墙壁都会用同一花色的窗帘遮着。房间的灯源是一个黄色的灯泡，厕所也有一个。我在橱里有一个小小的位放衣服，剩下的东西还是放在旅行背包和旅行箱里，需要的时候再往里挖。厕所的马桶时不会抽水的，所以方便的时候都要装一桶水来冲。冲凉是用装在桶里的水。晚上早上冲都会凉彻心扉。我在房间的大部分时间都是在床上呆着。在床上写日记，在床上用电脑，在床上吃饭，在床上谈天，在床上睡觉。热的时候我会开一下风扇。但我发现自己开始觉得风扇太冷了，所以都很少用。

我出入都是搭德士。这是这里最普遍的交通工具。而且这里的德士是共搭的。一辆小小的德士最高纪录可以在六个乘客。前座两个（不包括司机），后面四个，不管体积大小。还没载满人的司机会对路边站着的人按喇叭，要搭德士的话，我会往车里喊目的地和价钱。司机觉得同路的话，会按一下喇叭，然后你就乖乖上车，问候车上其他的人；否则他就加油走人，我再等下一辆德士。

雅温得是一个以法语为主要语言的城市。我日常生活都会讲我的烂法语。法语有很多连音，所以我到现在还是觉得有一点难听懂。但是，很多人通常看了我的肤色之后，就会改口跟我讲他们的烂英语。这让我更容易地达到我的目的，但也更难学好法语。

在雅温得，有太阳的时候天气会很热，下雨的时候天气会很凉。早上也是冻冻的。这里没有什么空气调节的措施，所以大家就跟着天气的脉搏这样凉一会、热一会。晚上，这里的路灯稀少，所以路上都是暗暗的。离开大路的小路更是黑暗，都只靠着旁边的小店透出的光。在住家之间的路则完全没有灯了。一开始我对这些小路是恐惧的。但最近适应以后，我开始爱上了这些小路的谧静。而且，在黑暗中，我跟其他人就没有了肤色的差距。在黑暗中，我更能感受到自己真正地活在这块大地上。来喀麦隆之前，网页上都说，不要在入黑之后一个人出门。但我发现，适应以后，没什么不可以的。自己小心就对了。有了这里彻彻底底的黑，我更有机会随随便便就能享受到广大星空灿烂的美、绵延万家灯火的壮观和草丛中萤火虫群的点点荧光。

在这里，电脑还是上班的事儿。普遍大学生都没有电脑，更不要说是手提电脑了。要上网，我都去网吧。网吧里有一张又一张的简单木桌，上面放了一台有一台海域磁碟配备的电脑。一个小时，在学生区大约马币一块多，外面更贵。你也可以选择买自己的数据机用。我常常借用这里朋友的。但网路非常不稳定。一个晚上要重联十几次。这里到处也有打国际电话的小店小站。里面用木板架起一个一个的隔间，再用板搭个架，上面放个电话。我都是在那里打电话跟家人朋友聊。一分钟，马币一块多。隔音设备没有很好，电话素质也很参差。但，听到熟悉的华语和口音总会莫名地兴奋。手机在这里盛行了，但价钱还是很高。而且基本设施没还有待改善，通话素质常常都非常差。我现在都宁愿写简讯了，至少讲得比较清楚。

我可以说适应了吧。我现在都接受了这里的生活方式。这几天，我读回自己的日记，对自己对这些差别不感惊讶而感到惊讶。这叫适应吧。我这几天很忍不住地想：如果我连在大家眼中这么艰苦的非洲都过得去的话，那天大地大，我应该都能游刃其间了吧！这是一个非常天真的想法。但，也就是天真把我带到非洲来了。我还蛮想知道天真还会把我带到哪里去！

学生宿舍外面的夜。街景给我拍到美得连Ubrine也认它不出！君若仔细瞧路上的车灯的掠影，会不难发现这里的人都不会按部就班地驾车，而是随心所欲随着路况地转来转去，惊险刺激。

Ubrine的房间。我再住一天就要搬走了。

我自己努力买到的午餐大杂烩。

Ubrine房间照耀着大家的小黄。

入乡随俗的最高境界

日期：五月二十八号

入乡随俗的最高境界就是连我的病也入乡随俗。

之前病了，严重伤风咳嗽，直到原本把它当没事的Guy也觉得不妥了。我喝完了一大瓶的枇杷膏，在用了Jana给的伤风药，怎样都不好。后来已经想直接去看医生了。突然，Ubrine说了这么一个道理。她觉得，伤风咳嗽这些病痛，不管大小轻重，都会来大驾光临一阵，十天后就会走。十天前不管你怎么催它赶它，都是没有用的；十天后不管你吃不吃药，它都会自己拍拍屁股走人。

我听了这个歪道理之后就想好，反正自己也很抗拒去看医生，就干脆试它一试。给这些小妖怪十天的时间。十天后还不好的话我就去看医生。

今天一早起来，一整天都干干爽爽的，没咳嗽没鼻涕。突然一算，诶，正好十天也。好神奇，好恐怖。而且这几天，我已经没在用药了，因为枇杷膏也喝完了，对伤风药也心灰意冷了。而病偏偏就在十天后无药自除了。难道它也入乡随俗了？

此乃趣事一宗也，请笑纳。

The life as a white

Dated: 22nd May

‘La blanche!’ It means The White. This is perhaps the most popular phrase I receive when I am on the streets. The extremely friendly Cameroonians simply shout at you as you pass by. In their eyes, I am a white. Belinda, the MC Project Director said, ‘There are only two colours: black and white.’ I happened to be whiter than I am black.

Everytime I tell people that ‘Je suis noire (I am black)’, they will laugh and say, ‘Ce n’est pas possible (This is not possible).’

The appearance of a person with alternative skin tone is a huge new thing to many locals. I am stared by almost everyone everywhere I go. Some people will shout at me with various greetings, ‘La blanche’, ‘La chinoise (The Chinese)’, ‘ça va? (How is it going?), ‘Ni hao’. Some people will whistle at me. Some people keep doing it to catch my attention. Some people will try to touch me. For most of the greetings, I can’t be sure of the amount of sincerity and harassment in them, and I will never go beyond responding ‘ça va (It’s good)’, and I only responded when I was in the University of Yaoundé, when I feel that the people are at least slightly less dangerous. For the people who try to touch me, I sweep them off violently. Nowadays, I devised a strategy to clench my fists everytime I am among the crowd. Somehow psychologically I feel that it makes people less dare to disturb me, because it probably makes people think that I know kungfu.

So far, the best response I have heard is from Tim, the Dutch intern. Someone called him ‘You are a white!’ off the street, and he responded ‘You are a black!’. And they shook hands. That scene was hilarious.

Jana the German intern told me, being a white also means that you will be grossly overcharged everywhere you go. For short distance, the Africans get to board the taxi at 100F (SGD0.30), while the taxis will not pick her up if she offers the same price. Being a white also means that some people will ask things from you. Jana’s housegirl told her to get her a handphone. And the same housegirl, upon seeing my MP3, asked me to give it to her. When Tim, Jana and I were watching National Day Parade on 20th May, a guy suddenly came up to Tim and demanded for his camera. Tim’s friend took the camera and ran away from the guy, who then asked Tim to give him 1000F. Tim ignored him, and he suddenly shouted at me ‘Chinoise!’ I didn’t dare to look at him, and kept staring into the street. He is a guy of the size of almost a gorilla, and Jana said he is mentally unstable. I was very much afraid then, wondering if he will assault me. Jana quietly moved between me and him, and we continued freezing for a few tense minutes. The guy eventually walked away. *Phew*

Being a white excites many people. One day, I was at Ubrine’s house, and Vincent the Belgian intern was there too, together with a few other Yaoundé AIESECers. Elviche was plaiting African braids for me. The door was opened, and suddenly a lot of kids appeared on the outside, shouting that they want to see the whites. We invited them in, and they kept staring and giggling at us. I asked one girl if she wants to marry a white. She said yes. So I asked if she wants to marry Vincent when she grows up, she said no, because she said that Vincent will not wait for her. It was truly cute of them.

It still amuses me how people can insist that I am a white, when I am one of the darkest person back at home! I am still trying to live with this notion as being a white. Up till now, it still amuses me, as much as it is bringing me some fear and intimidation.

My two-sense worth for adaptation

Dated: 21st May

The old saying for cultural sensitivity used to be like this – Assume different until proven. From this experience, I would like to propose – Assume the same until told. At the beginning, I was really conscious when I was proposing ideas, repeatedly using words like ‘in my country’, ‘back in Malaysia/Singapore’, ‘I am not sure how it works here’. And I found others saying the same things as me too, when they are sharing ideas. In the end, we found that most of the things we said are the same in both societies! We share the same expectation for the same role, the same problems in AIESEC, and find many many more similarities!

The moment you decide to adapt, you suddenly take things so much easily. Taking cold shower no longer haunts me, and I am grateful when there is running water, be it in the form of shower or bucket (Bucket bath is when you use your hands to scoop water from the bucket to splash it unto your body). I am grateful that there is electricity, I have lights and fans. My workplace does not have fans, not to mention air-conditioning. I’ve spoken to my boss, it doesn’t seem financially possible to get one till we get the next revenue. However, I am surprised that I am not even complaining too much about it. I am getting to terms with food with little hygiene, using plates that are cleaned with just water and wiped with a less-than-clean cloth, putting my sandy feet on the bed, toilet bowl without the seat plastic and the cover and without a flushing system, a room with no rubbish bin, and being at ease when I am soaking in sweat. I am amazed by myself, on how easily I can take these things, considering I used to live with so much comfort and hygiene.

Though, though, I am still counting down to the days for me to go home. I am ashamed by this thought, but I will not control it. I am letting it stay, and let’s see if my mentality will let it go one day.

Pictures up!

The real Africa!

She turned me into an African girl! Elviche from LC Yaounde, the LC I am an intern of.

Diversity!
Rach can this picture qualify for my poster girl picture?

I love this picture 2.

I love this picture 3.

I love the picture 4.

Spreading the use of chopsticks!

The different Global Village. Performance by my LC!

More from my LC!

Spreading the Asian girl style!

C'est ma vie!

Finally got some pictures up!!! Enjoy! I am speaking French a lot here, but still not still not enough! Will try to put up my offline blog posts soon. My friend's lappie can't read docx files. And I am using a German keyboard now.

Mt Cameroon from University of Buea.

A room of Jana's friend. Jana is a German intern (in the picture) who is really taking care of me, as much as the other AIESECers here. I feel truly loved, apart from the other weird advances. Hahaha...

Logging is pretty bad here.

A bit of AIESEC now. This is the van carrying AIESECers from LC Douala to NLDS!

Picture taking is the love of delegates here. They can simply take thousands of pictures using other people's cameras. Spot the less-than-dark people.

Is it so much easier to spot me here?

The only picture of me at the Official Dinner with Diana from Lithuania, the MCVPTM here, before my batteries went dead.

The legendary way of them transporting things from town to town. By the way, this van (which they call bus) sits 16 people, regardless of size, excluding the driver. :S

The best moving thing in Cameroon! Door-less, backseatless, boot cover-less, but still moving. And it transported all 100 chairs and 5 tables and 2 tents in one go.

Roadside vaccination for yellow fever. So cute!!

An unusual street scene. I am not sure how usual is it here. I guess ma3 lu4 really makes sense here. Here the cows share the same roads as the cars, travelling at the same time.

Attempting African braids with only my real hair. By a really sweet LC girl who came all the way to visit me.

The first time I attempted washing clothes with buckets and yellowish water.

The MC house has a water filter which filters the yellow water into drinking water with less smell. This saves you 500F (SGD1.7) per 1.5 litre you drink.

My favourite food here - poisson brussiere. With nice chilli pepper paste and cooked bananas.

Bananas is one of the most common carbohydrate here. And chicken is most expensive here. Fish is most common. Interesting.

Yaounde, the city I am living in, finally reaching here after travelling to another 2 cities for 8 days. It is a beautiful city with a lot of slopes. This makes it more foreign than ever.

People say that internship is life-changing. For now, I say that it is changing life. For I feel like I am living someone else's life more than ever. Sleeping differently, bathing differently, eating differently, speaking a different language, etc etc. More will come soon!

Dear MCs, I will try to post on MC blog once I go to cybercafe on my own! For now, I am always using other people's connection, so I can't use for too long, and my blog takes precedence! Haha.

My 8th May is 29-hour long

On 8th May, as I stepped onto the boarding corridor, the notion of doing internship in Cameroon is no longer the same. It used to feel real, now it is real. I am flying away from Asia, to a land which I have always bragged about me being part of them. And now I am really going there. No more imagination, whatever I have read is coming to me!

The most colourful cabin I have ever seen. Beautifully.

The guy I met on the KL-Bangkok flight, who is taking the exact same route as me. Also the guy who asked me to be his girlfriend after a mere 2 hours of talk, and who, after I lied to him that I have a boyfriend, insist of being my Cameroon boyfriend. This is the guy who kept me accompanied for the long hours, who shared a lot of useful Cameroon insights with me, who bought me water when I had no Kenya shillings, and the guy who gave me nervous breakdown. -.-'

My first of the two dinner for 8/5/09, deliciously prepared by Thai Airways. I like this airline!

Thailand airport. My first time arrival! Note my big AIESEC logo shirt which I painstakingly find to ensure recognition.

Transit to Nairobi by Kenya Airways.

The hot Kenyan air steward.

The route the plane took, passing by Sri Lanka, India, Mauritius and Seychelles. Too bad I wasn't allocated a window seat!

Keeping myself warm in Kenya Airways using Thai Airways' blanket. Sorry Thai Airways, I will return to you in August!

Kenya Airport. Very Kenyanish. Hope the elephant isn't real.

Very much tempted to get one of this.

Learning how to 自拍 with a background.

An advertisement which I think is super cute!!!! And it's so similar to how our parents tell us. 'Don't say we didn't tell you', 'think ten times' etc.

Kenya has high beautiful sky. I will only be able to see the Kenyan sky without the glass panel in July 27.

Kenya Airways against the high sky.

How many cities of this do you know? I also don't know them.

First pseudo-African lunch. Chicken rice. Chicken is supposed to be the most expensive meat in Africa cuz they don't grow well in African climate. So I took every free opportunity to have chicken now. And of course, rice, my staple.

I wonder if the second line is only there at developing countries. Recall Slumdog millionaire.

My last lap - Nairobi to Douala, after a good 13 hour wait, which I don't think I have dreaded any minute! And which I don't think I have done anything that I have planned for this 13 horus!

Below is my travel diary for these 2 days. 

Adapting is just so difficult. I am only at the airport and I cannot stand so much of the stuff already. I cannot stand the constant relationship advances, not the people who kept outrightly staring at your diary or your computer screen, not the people making various requests to you to use your laptop to use your cable, not the people who kept talking to me even when I have put on my earphones, not the various men who kept disturbing me when I just want to be on my own.

Now, like the time in Thailand Airport, I am doubting my adaptability and openness to new experience. I always thought I welcome new experience very much. But this time when I dump myself into a completely new environment, the adjustment was so hard, and filled with so much loss and helplessness. I don't like how others are socializing with me now. I am scared, I am afraid, and I am worried. I am again, doubting my ability to live through the three months, living with everyone who is yet so different from me and very intimidating to me. I hope my self-efficacy comes back to find me soon, and live me through my three months. I don't want to live like I am struggling. I want to enjoy the life here! But right now, I am even struggling to live with the challenges, and I am amplifying every single difference in the negative light. This is not good. I need my confidence back.

Jia you!!!  T.T

Anyway, for guys who need some proposal suggestion:

Crap reason 1: You dress like an African and you make yourself seem very adaptable to African culture. In no way I am dressing like an African.

Crap reason 2: I don't have a girlfriend in Cameroon and I don't have a girl in Malaysia. Who cares about stories on your side?

Crap reason 3: I like you. 

Crap reason 4: I am not looking for a boyfriend now. But I am looking for you now.

This is driving me crazy..!!